Photo courtesy of vision china
Another year of college entrance examination. This year’s college entrance examination students have experienced the ups and downs of COVID-19 epidemic in high school for three years, and online classes have become the collective memory of this year’s students.
Zhang Lishan, the founder of "Lishan Happiness Psychology" and a psychological teacher of Yaohua Middle School in Tianjin, found in the process of consultation that an obvious impact of the epidemic on students is "to make children who want to learn more want to learn, and children who don’t learn more don’t learn".
Zhang Lishan has received a large number of candidates who are psychologically troubled by online and offline "jumping". There is a kind of examinee. When his parents are not at home at work, he opens online classes and secretly plays games. The other kind of candidates, on the contrary, get up at 6 o’clock every morning for early self-study and concentrate on online classes, but the harder they work, the more anxious they are, fearing that compared with other children who attend offline classes, online classes are inefficient and they will fall behind.
Zhang Lishan especially wants to tell these anxious children that the college entrance examination is a ranking in a province (city, district), so if you take classes online, there is a high probability that other children who compete with you are also taking classes online, and the external environment in which everyone lives is the same. In this case, whoever has a more stable mentality is more likely to win.
One or two days before the exam, it is impossible to master knowledge by leaps and bounds. What can be adjusted is the mentality.
In Zhang Lishan’s view, home-based classes actually test a person’s self-management ability just like home office. "Children who lack self-management used to be stared at by teachers at school. When they got home, parents stared at them. Teachers and parents often communicated to help children regulate themselves. When the external supervision is lost, the teacher can’t catch it, and the parents go to work, the child may be out of control. "
One or two days before the exam, I am afraid it is impossible to make rapid progress in the level of knowledge mastery. What children can adjust is their mentality. "One of the successful experiences of the college entrance examination is that it is possible to win in mentality, good mentality, normal play and even extraordinary play." Zhang Lishan said.
Zhiyan Chen, a professor at the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences, said that psychological research has proved that "mindfulness training" should be done within five days before the college entrance examination (Mindfulness Group of Clinical and Counseling Psychology Committee of Chinese Psychological Association and Mindfulness Group of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Committee of Chinese Mental Health Association have been organized by Mindfulness Committee on WeChat WeChat official account to open professional mindfulness audio materials to the public free of charge — — Reporter’s note), it will obviously ease the mood, even if it is a single training, it will have a certain effect.
It is not only students who enter the examination room, but also parents who are actually experiencing a big exam, and they also need to face it with a peaceful attitude.
A few days before the exam, parents must keep their mouths shut and not expose their anxiety or complaints, otherwise it will only affect their children’s mentality. After the exam, parents should not ask their children about the exam on that day, how it went, and whether the questions were all right … … "What’s the use of asking these questions? After all the exams, are you satisfying your curiosity?" Zhang Lishan said, "Parents must do it themselves first, so as to help their children do one exam and throw one."
Zhang Lishan also specially reminded that during the exam, life should be as peaceful as the mentality. Parents should never give their children "tricks" in food. "I heard that it is most undesirable to make up the brain and give them something they are most familiar with, used to and like to eat every day. In case of eating new food, the child’s body will not adapt, but it will be self-defeating. "
What should I do if I encounter an emergency? Should I tell my children about the death of my loved ones?
Before and during the college entrance examination, some unexpected situations may also occur, such as being affected by the epidemic situation and encountering special circumstances such as closure and control. This is a difficulty that other students around the child do not have. How can children’s anxiety be alleviated?
Zhang Lishan said: "Maintaining a positive and healthy mental state is the most important way to minimize the impact and harm caused by the epidemic. Complaining about others can only increase negative emotions, and the adjustment suggestion is to accept the reality and give yourself positive psychological hints every day. For example, if the sky is going to be a big responsibility for Sri Lanka, you must first suffer its mind … …”
Zhang Lishan coached some candidates who were sick before the college entrance examination, but these children did better in the exam. "First, if they are sick, they can’t go to school, they can’t feel the tension, and they are more likely to be peaceful; Second, the expectations of parents and people around him for this exam have decreased, and I am no longer anxious. I am more focused during the exam and will not suffer from loss. "
"Candidates should believe in their learning status, knowledge reserve and skills to take the exam. After years of training, they are at a relatively stable level. I believe that these capabilities will not be zero because of an emergency. " Zhiyan Chen said. Unexpected situations will interfere with and affect emotions and energy. What candidates should do is not to be restless and restless for these things, and to maintain physical and mental health.
Zhiyan Chen suggested that candidates should not be allowed to do nothing but review before the college entrance examination, but should have normal exercise, socialize and live a balanced life. Especially after the eyes and brain are tired, some transformational activities are needed, such as running, planting flowers and walking the dog.
There are reports in the media that parents deliberately concealed the news of their family’s death in order to reassure their children about the exam. If there is a major change in the family before the college entrance examination, do you want to let the children know?
Zhiyan Chen believes that specific problems need to be analyzed. Some parents endure the divorce after their children finish the college entrance examination. In fact, on the one hand, parents think their children are too fragile, on the other hand, they think their children are too slow. In fact, children have a hunch about the relationship between their parents, but they just don’t tell each other. But for those things that don’t have much impact in a short period of time, Zhiyan Chen suggested that they can not be done for the time being.
There are still some things, such as the death of relatives, especially those who are closely related to their children. If they don’t tell their children at the first time, they will leave him with huge and irreversible regrets. Then, "it is one thing to say it or not, and how to say it is another thing. This will be a very specific choice."
"Some children have strong self-regulation ability, and this relative is very close to him. The cause of death is not extremely traumatic, and it is difficult to hide it. Then you can consider it; If it is traumatic like a car accident, it still needs to be cautious. " Zhiyan Chen suggested that in such cases, family members should first call the psychological hotline to ask for the support of professionals, and analyze the specific problems.
For some major events that have little to do with the candidates themselves, such as social news, Zhiyan Chen’s suggestion is — — Brush less.
In exams, moderate nervousness is common and necessary.
When children enter the examination room, moderate nervousness is needed in the examination, but excessive anxiety should also be prevented.
"Anxiety is widespread, and I hope candidates can moderately accept their anxiety. Don’t look too narrow-minded, and don’t take a little difficulty in front of you as a difficulty for yourself. A problem stumbles you. You are not fighting alone. It is a difficult problem for many people. The college entrance examination is not to look at this question, but to compare the total score. " Zhiyan Chen said. No matter before, during or after the exam, "candidates should not scare themselves".
"I haven’t taken the exam yet, and I feel that I will definitely do badly; If you can’t do the first question when you open the test paper, you feel that this subject is over; After the exam, I felt that the university was hopeless. " Zhiyan Chen said, "Although scaring yourself after the exam does not affect the performance of the exam, it also harms physical and mental health."
Zhiyan Chen specially reminded that during the examination, if you can’t do a question, you need to make "moderate" efforts on this question. If you still can’t do it, make a mark and come back to see it when you have time. "After moderate efforts, there is another advantage, that is, you will have an impression on this problem. Perhaps some of the latter topics can trigger inspiration for solving this problem, and it may be solved if you go back and do it again. And the worst arrangement is that if you don’t do it, you will despair. If you do something wrong now, you won’t lose points, and the steps to solve the problem will also be scored. "
Zhang Lishan provides some ways to relieve emotions that can be operated in the examination room: if you are too nervous, take a deep breath, inhale fully, and exhale completely, so that you can clear your brain and feel much calmer after basically doing three groups; It is normal for some children to cause intestinal peristalsis under extreme tension, but people with sensitive constitution need to go to the toilet. At this time, don’t endure it. You should communicate with the invigilator immediately, take the time to go, and you will be refreshed when you come back.
"Of course, the college entrance examination is very important, but it is not a one-shot deal in life. You have to fill in your volunteers later, and you can take the postgraduate entrance examination in the future and find a job … … Don’t feel that your life’s position in society is determined by the college entrance examination. " Zhang Lishan said, "In fact, everyone in the workplace knows that as long as we have a lifelong learning attitude, life will always bloom and reach or even surpass our ideals."
Zhongqingbao Zhongqingwang reporter Jiang Xiaobin Source: China Youth Daily