Why are more and more women "returning to the family"? The fundamental reason is that the social status is too low.

Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day.

Because I hope children can enter a good university.

So we should study well in middle school.

Then try to get into a good middle school.

Then you must go to a good primary school.

There must be a good affiliated kindergarten next to a good primary school.

If you want to enter a good affiliated kindergarten

Then you have to go to a good nursery

If you want to enter a good nursery, you must arrange your own egg schedule.

To arrange the egg schedule, you must arrange your own life.

You can’t go to work day and night. The best job is to be stable from nine to five.

So as to win in the womb.

The above is the text record of interviewing young mothers in the documentary "No Starting Line". The life, work and mental journey of young mothers are evident.

This generation has lived in such a social environment. Although the material life has been greatly enriched, in fact, it has become more and more nervous, cautious and cautious psychologically.

Because I know the wonderful world and the distinction between people, I have a very high standard in my heart. Even if I am just an ordinary person in an ordinary family, it will not hinder my dream of being a noble family.

However, not everyone has the talent and opportunity to be elon musk, and not everyone has a mother like elon musk.

Needless to say, even if you have a smart and tough mother like elon musk, can you also have an engineer father like elon musk?

Obviously, we are talking about family background, genetic factors, and by the way, how the social environment affects a person’s success.

Looking back, why is it that mom talks about these issues and rarely sees dad thinking conveniently here?

It’s not that fathers don’t consider it. It’s mainly that children are born to women, and women take it for granted. Since you want to raise it, it is natural to plan it from head to toe by yourself.

In this way, it is a standard for an ordinary girl to get married and have children after working for one or two years after graduating from college and resign to take care of her children at home.

Men just need to go to work to earn money and come back. The elderly, children and women at home shoulder the burden of housework-if you don’t work, you should be a full-time housewife to take care of your family.

Otherwise, why should I give you living expenses every month? Who doesn’t want to stay at home? Who wants to go out drinking and socializing? I play games and kick a ball. What’s wrong? When a girl falls into the circle of marriage and childbirth, men take it for granted to live their own free and unfettered lives.

The reason is: as the head of the family who takes money home every month, it is more important than women-who told me to work hard!

80% of women have received such mental PUA, and they are totally dependent on men economically.

If your parents can help you, it will be a great happy event, because it not only means that you can be fully prepared during pregnancy, but also means that your parents can help you and make plans for yourself. For example, after giving birth, we will take care of it for you, and you can continue to go to work. Although you don’t have much money, it is an income after all. If you have a way out, you won’t be angry with the man and your husband’s family.

With such helpful parents, a woman can at least stay relaxed and happy mentally, have more sources of income economically, and have a better chance of making great progress in her work.

Only when a woman is economically independent, cheerful and has a strong working ability can the emotional relationship between women and men be guaranteed in quality, and the family relationship be more harmonious, and the children will have a better growth environment, both mentally and materially.

Because, fundamentally speaking, men are more rational and value the role of one thing and one person in society and family.

If a woman has been living on her own for a long time, and because she has no money to save money, she has been living a very poor life and then becomes a yellow-faced woman, then this woman has almost no place in a man’s heart, and even becomes a psychological burden.

Although women have to resign from home because of having children and raising children, it is men’s jobs that are sacrificed for preservation, but few people can get this feeling. What people see is nothing but women’s idleness, laziness, bloated and trivial conversation. Then despise all aspects of her and question her existence value …


When more and more women choose to return to their families and take care of their children, and when the whole society’s doubts about stay-at-home mothers reach the peak, what we think more about is not whether women give up on themselves, but the lack of system design at the level of national and social system design.

Women have no corresponding social logistics support after giving birth, so they have to rely on men. This forces men to work better to bear the heavy responsibility of making money to support their families.

At the same time, the cost of raising children, which should be borne by the society and the state, now falls entirely on the heads of individual families. No one has ever questioned why childbearing is advocated without any social security after childbirth.

Individuals almost have to sacrifice the opportunity and time of a lifetime in exchange for the smooth birth, growth and success of a descendant.

As the pillars, men can’t return to their families, because they must be busy creating greater wealth for the society and the family, and promoting the progress and operation of the whole society.

Since ancient times, women have shouldered the heavy responsibility of reproducing and raising offspring. No matter how the times change, such historical responsibility has never been abandoned.

deep-rootedDedication and self-sacrifice, like a rope tied to every girl and woman. Even in statistics, women in China have the highest participation index among women in the world, which cannot change the trend and fact that women in China have to return to their families to become full-time mothers for their children.

This situation is also the most painful for President Zhang Guimei.

Training a girl to go to college is not to let her return to her family to be a full-time wife, but to let an independent person live a better life with the strength given to her by knowledge and have more social value.

Although President Zhang Guimei’s words were very rough, he got to a fundamental problem:

What kind of life and life does a person have to live once and come to the world once? Is it really the only way for women who return to their families after giving birth? Is this life really as worthwhile as you say?

Does this kind of life reduce the grandeur of life to a small node and forget the mission of exploring the deeper integration of self and society?

– The End –

Author | Magic Little

A group of young people who like to look up at the stars

References: Wells, A. (2019). Breaking the cybercode: understanding and treating the human metacognitive control system to enhance mental health. Frontiers in Psychology, 10,2621.

Wechat WeChat official account: the first psychology

In the first three quarters of this year, domestic tourism reached 3.67 billion.

Beijing, 14 Dec (reporter Xia Jin from Zhongqing Daily, Zhongqing.com) "In the first three quarters of this year, according to statistics, the number of domestic tourists reached 3.67 billion, and the tourism revenue reached 3.7 trillion yuan, up 75% and 114% respectively. Residents’ tourism demand has been released in a centralized way, and residents’ travel has increased substantially. While driving the expansion of related consumption, it also promoted economic recovery. " At the press conference held by the State Council Information Office today, Du Jiang, Vice Minister of Culture and Tourism, said.

Du Jiang said that in order to optimize the policy environment and solve the difficulties of blocking points, the Ministry of Culture and Tourism will make efforts from both ends of supply and demand to boost tourism investment confidence and consumer confidence; Promote the implementation of the three-year "Domestic Tourism Promotion Plan"; Enrich the supply of high-quality tourism products, improve tourism services, standardize the order of the tourism market, strengthen tourism security, and create a tourist destination with quality and temperature. Du Jiang also revealed that the Ministry of Culture and Tourism is actively launching a three-year "Inbound Tourism Promotion Plan" to provide more high-quality tourism products and more convenient services for inbound tourists.

Source: China Youth Daily

Reading music Jeff Chang Shin-Che’s "Overfire": Yes, yes, I started to sing like crazy again. …

Reading Jeff Chang Shin-Che’s "Overfire" in Music.

The song "Going Too Far" is really a classic in Jeff Chang Shin-Che’s music library. On July 8, 2023, I went to see the Jeff Chang Shin-Che Concert in Fuzhou for the first time, and the first song I sang was "Overfire", which was almost a chorus of the whole audience. How can people not remember it deeply?

This song has a deep pain, but it also has a feeling of no resentment, but it seems that it has all ended. Sometimes it even feels that it has ended before it started. Sometimes, is it completely released to give freedom to the other party? There is no answer, only through. After scenes of crazy years for love, after a deep commitment for love, and after a struggle for right and wrong, do you release and fly?

If these are all too much, then let go, let go, and set you free. Just turn around and turn around, and the affectionate scenes will be gone? I don’t know what the dream is, will it be broken, and the short-term pain will still suddenly come to mind at an unknown time of the year. Turbulent emotions, such as waves beating against the giant glass of high-rise buildings, just can’t get in, still! But the voice that resounded through Genting plunged the whirlpool of feelings deeper and deeper until it was unforgettable, right? Can’t forget it.

Therefore, listening to this song "Overfire", the fault of tearing and the drifting away of commitment become clear and profound at night! Clouds are like smoke, and if alcohol evaporates, it will disperse when walking. Do you think that the kind of moths that used to throw fire is a kind of "fire"? But those who don’t come back can’t come back, and even more whispers can’t change anything.

Just listening to this song "Overfire", I just seem to think about him or her, but I have fallen into the precious "entanglement" of being loved and loved, let go and left, and gradually I can’t go back. Really? Yes, I started singing like crazy again.

Original text, reading music corridor.

In 2023, the first Bay Area National Fashion Industry Agglomeration and Digital Intelligence Transformation and Development Conference was held in Guangzhou.

Zhongxin. com, Guangzhou, December 11th (Reporter Jun Guo) The first 2023 Bay Area National Fashion Industry Agglomeration and Digital Intelligence Transformation and Development Conference was held in Guangzhou on the 10th. More than 300 celebrities and representatives from the fashion industry and digital economy, as well as representatives from more than 30 universities including Jinan University and South China Agricultural University attended the meeting to discuss how to release the vitality of the national fashion industry and how to use digital technology to help the industry develop with high quality.

The first 2023 Bay Area National Fashion Industry Agglomeration and Digital Intelligence Transformation and Development Conference was held in Guangzhou on the 10th. Photo by Jun Guo

The conference was co-sponsored by Guangdong Garment Industry Association, Guangdong Electronic Commerce Association, Guangdong Business Economics Association and China Education Group, and undertaken by Guangdong Baiyun College. The theme of the conference is "Guangdong-Hong Kong-Macao Greater Bay Area National Fashion Industry Agglomeration and Digital Intelligence Transformation". Ren Xingzhou, former director of the Market Economy Research Institute of the State Council Development Research Center, Fu Longcheng, vice president of China Business Federation, and Ji Wenbo, vice president of China Fashion Designers Association, and other industry experts gave speeches on topics such as "Super-large-scale consumer market and great opportunity of fashion industry in the tide of the country", "Boosting consumer service innovation to provide strong support for building a new development pattern with double cycles" and "The tide of the country calls for innovative talents in international fashion design".

In his keynote speech, Ren Xingzhou pointed out that the trend of China’s consumer fashion showed obvious stage characteristics with the development of reform and opening up. Take clothing as an example, from the imitation of fashion in Hong Kong and Taiwan in 1980s and 1990s, to the pursuit of Japanese and Korean fashion trends by some young people, to the favor of European and American fashion brands after the obvious upgrade of consumption, and to the rise of national fashion and the development of rapid consumption.

Ren Xingzhou believes that national fashion is the product of China’s sustained economic development and escalating consumption, which is determined by China’s manufacturing supply capacity, consumption scale and consumption grade. In essence, it is the dynamic balance between consumption and supply, and it is also the result of strong industrial chain, supply chain and ecological chain support. At present, the development of national fashion is facing great opportunities, and cultural self-confidence is a powerful driving force for the rise of national fashion. Digital economy is an accelerator for the development of national fashion industry, and the continuous opening up has improved the internationalization level of fashion industry.

At the meeting, Wang Xianqing, vice president of China Business Economics Association, released the Report on the Development of Fashion Industry in the Bay Area in 2023, which revealed the development trend of fashion industry in the national tide represented by clothing with data and cases, and deeply studied the layout and characteristics of fashion industry agglomeration in Greater Bay Area. (End)

As a woman, I still have the right and ability to choose to be alone.

"Leave me alone", author: (France) Marcel Sauvageau, translator: Tang Yangyang, version: one page folio| | Guangxi Normal University Press, July 2021.

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It’s a little magical. It is the annual "520". In a training class, teachers who speak the Internet are talking passionately about the future of "digital city". On the one hand, there is a heated discussion about "the era of lying flat" in the circle of friends of mobile phones, and on the other hand, there are various "520" business copywriters; I, on the other hand, finished reading Marcel Sauvageau’s Leave Me Alone.

In the history of French literature in the 20th century, Sauvageau’s name is generally not found, because it is Sauvageau’s only work. She was born in 1900 and died of tuberculosis in 1934. She spent almost five years in various nursing homes before she really entered the literary circle. The limited information can be said in a short space: in the first half of the 20th century, a middle school teacher from another province had to recuperate in a nursing home because of tuberculosis, but while living in a nursing home, he was "broken up", so he wrote this film "Leave me alone". To be exact, it is not a novel, but four intermittent "letters" from November to Christmas Eve-just because it takes the form of letters, and the "confidante" in the letters is the person who made her suffer from love. But at the same time, it is not a real letter, because she wrote these so-called letters and didn’t intend to send them. Because this is by no means her prayer to "save" love.

Fortunately, Sauvageau has stepped into the literary circle with half a foot, which makes Leave Me Alone not buried. When she was preparing for the teacher qualification examination in Paris, she made friends with many people, including the surrealist small group, which was very avant-garde at that time. Because of illness, but also because she still retains some classical interests, she finally did not "go out of the circle" under the label of surrealism; But while she was living in a nursing home and writing "Leave Me Alone", through her friend René Crevel, she could still hear some noises about surrealist cliques from time to time. By understanding this connection, it is not difficult for us to understand the persistence of freedom and the slightly modernist narrative technique embodied in Leave Me Alone.

So Leave Me Alone didn’t suffer the fate of being abandoned-although it came from the pain of being "broken up". Only 163 copies of the first edition were printed and read in the circle of friends, but some time later, when the author lived in a nursing home in Davos, Switzerland, the second edition was already in the pipeline. Sauvageau’s friends persuaded the critic Du Bos to preface this edition of Knowledge Publishing House. Du Bo even went to the nursing home where Sauvageau was at that time and read the preface he wrote to her.

There are many writers in the tuberculosis sanatorium in Davos, and there are many writers in the tuberculosis sanatorium in Zaovos, including RobertLouis Stevenson in Britain in the early days, Paul Eluard, a French surrealist poet, and Thomas Mann, who accompanied his wife with tuberculosis. The sad smell of death in "Magic Mountain" may be regarded as an annotation to Sauvageau’s "Leave Me Alone", although Sauvageau did not live in Davos when he wrote it. Sauvageau died shortly after Du’s visit and didn’t see his book reprinted. From the first edition in 1933 to the latest edition in 2004, there was an interval of 70 years. Interestingly, if Sauvageau did not enter the history of literature, this thin work, which comes from a little woman who is also unknown—compared with the magnificent history of French literature, and even has a little privacy, has not completely fallen into oblivion. Since the first edition, there have been five editions in 1934, 1936, 1943, 1986 and 1997 in the past 70 years, and the titles all follow the "commentary" in the first edition-literally translated as "commentary", or if it is not another book, but an event, it can also correspond to the one in Chinese."Remembering" is a kind of "experience"-only in the 1943 and 1997 editions, the subtitle was "reproduced pages" in the 1943 edition and "lost love" in the 1997 edition. Indeed, in a strict sense, "commentary" is not a title, but it seems to be more like a category of text: for example, Antoine Berman’s "The Time of Translation" is a "commentary" on Benjamin’s "The Translator’s Task", and he did mark "un commentaire" on the cover. Caesar’s The Battle of Gaul also uses the word "commentaire", which is a description, a retrospective, an analysis and a reflection. The edition published in 2004 no longer used the abstract "commentaire", but chose "Laissez-moi" (leaving me alone) and used "commentaire" as the subtitle (in the translation of this edition, it was translated as "Analysis of Love"). The new edition in 2004 sold 60,000 copies in that year, which seems to be somewhat inconsistent with the main theme of the new century that began to disdain love.

Indeed, what does "commentary" or experience mean? It means a woman who takes a step back in front of love and examines the process before the end of love. Because of the distance-when Sauvageau wrote at the end of this letter on November 7, 1930, "I will write to you tomorrow, I can’t use the name’ you’ any more, I will write to you, but I can’t tell you everything I confide in my heart", this distance has been truly displayed in front of us-so I can see clearly the love, and see clearly the love (or the end of love).

Cover of "Let Me Be Alone" in Foreign Languages

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After seeing clearly the men and women in love, Sauvageau came to the conclusion: Let me be alone. Leaving me alone is a declaration on two levels: the first level is that love is no longer there, and "I" choose to be alone with dignity, review and face up to my love, otherwise "I" once lost all its value; The second level is that as a woman who is seriously ill, "I" still has the right and ability to choose to be alone.

Different from the so-called love letter, "Leave Me Alone" does not show the specific grievances of two men and women. There are no stories, so there are no real heroes and heroines and characters. The words "you", "you" and "I" in the commentary have no identity. Apart from the occasional flash of "sanatorium", "cough" and "Versailles", readers can connect the "I" in the book with Sauvageau in life, and there is no other exact connection with real life and real experience. In fact, even if these clues that may be pursued point to a specific person and a specific love or not, the specific direction behind them is meaningless in the final analysis. Who was it, and which man in which "college" ever loved that woman named Marcel Sauvageau? Why on earth did you stop loving vaguely, wrote a letter saying that you were going to marry another woman, and said, "We are still friends"? All this is actually not important.

It is only important to know why almost all men and women, after falling out of love, should solemnly say that we are still friends; But you know, after the fog of love fades, what a sober woman sees is a man who has lost his aura. Not abuse, not resentment, not counterattack, but simply the word "know". When Sauvageau said, "I am very willing to lose my mind, but I am also willing to grasp the moment of losing my mind and constantly explore the boundaries of consciousness until I lose my consciousness. We shouldn’t be absent from our own happiness, so we don’t doubt that we are stuck in her grasp of "the moment of losing our mind".

The word "love" in the world is fascinating because even if the so-called common law is removed from all the situations-it is not necessarily impossible in today’s era of big data-it is not enough to provide any experience and warning for reference. It will be transformed into different forms in different situations and between different men and women. We are keen to describe it, but we just want to know whether it is possible for people to provide happiness for each other and how this fragile happiness is shattered. Isn’t it? If there is no happy experience, even if love only meets the physiological blind and irrational needs, why on earth should people love? We have 10,000 more convenient ways to be satisfied. There are people in love, and there are people whose subjects exist, and there are love experiences that are regulated by language, which in turn affect language and love, so love becomes a reciprocating cycle from the real world to the imaginary world, and becomes a road for the two worlds to meet each other and be rich.

Memory is also a part of the imaginary world, so love, or happiness, belongs to the past tense and belongs to memory. Sauvageau told us that happiness is like a fragrance. "If we like a fragrance, we will try our best to keep it and pursue it; We will not let ourselves indulge in it, analyze it, and gradually immerse ourselves in it, so that we can only awaken our body’s feelings about it through memories; When the fragrance reappears, we will breathe it more slowly and gently and feel the most subtle breath. " The same meaning is also found in Proust’s Memories of Time Past, and sometimes it is summarized into a simple sentence, such as "Life is just a series of isolated moments, with memories and fantasies, many meanings emerge, then disappear, and then reappear"; Sometimes it will form an eternal scene, such as the famous little Madeleine cake. But "Let Me Be Alone" is definitely not as ambitious as "Memories of Time Past" as it is. It’s basically just about love.

So it still lets us see clearly some small games and tricks in love. All this clearly emerges when love is no longer there. Are women really blind in love? No, blindness in love is just selective neglect. Now open your eyes and look back at "you" at that time, and you can clearly see the true appearance of "you": "Your lips are slightly upturned, slightly blackened teeth are exposed, and your head is stretched forward. When you explain the brilliant ideas you have just discovered, or when you come up with any way to reduce the whimsy that others think to mediocrity, you will put on this look. " However, although I know this very well, I believe that the true value of love is not to fall in love with perfection and become perfect, but to "enter the lover’s heart through shortcomings and deficiencies, the soul that is often lost because of imitating others."

Let Me Be Alone should also attract the attention of the best thinkers in the 1930s by virtue of this rational analysis. Paul Valéry believes that it "shows an extraordinary spiritual life, in a strange way of leaving yourself to see yourself"; Paul Claudel also thinks that it is "almost one of the representatives of women’s writing"; At that time, Robert Brasillach, a famous right-wing writer, also noticed this pamphlet, and he praised it: "All people who like real and simple short narratives will like … this plump work, because, in any case, this is first and foremost a work worthy of love and about love."

But besides love, there is dignity. The dignity of women. "Leave me alone" does not shy away from the female perspective, and even more or less wittily says, "Many sentences in your letter have awakened my feminist thoughts". Indeed, it seems that it is difficult for men all over the world to understand the truth that even if a woman happily says or writes, "When she met him, she became very low, as low as dust", it is just a gesture that a woman has chosen. Moreover, how can it be written by a woman who is really "as low as dust" to find some fun for herself? If one day, I want to force such a woman to say "then I don’t love" again, although I won’t be mean in public, I have seen a transparent man in my heart, but I may not be able to show my intellectual differences between them to return my independent personality. Therefore, Zhang Ailing can help Hu Lancheng financially after breaking up, and Sauvageau can also ask the other party to return his photos after being "broken up" and calmly say, "But this is not because I love you, but because I still want to enrich myself, because I don’t want to destroy myself and become someone else’s favorite, and I don’t want to improve myself any more. I just immerse myself in my lover’s childish love and let him push me around."

Clara Malraux has an accurate evaluation of this. She thinks that this essay "should have epoch-making significance in the history of women’s literature … it is the first book written by an unruly woman; As men’s eyes are generally accurate, they are also enemies and friends, and there is no servility. ….. is a book with simple sadness, facing death, facing the weakness of men who pretend to be authoritative, a book full of dignity ".

Cover of "Let Me Be Alone" in Foreign Languages

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Leave me alone was written in the early 1930s, and it has been nearly a century.

In the early 1930s, France had not been completely dragged into the vortex of war, but a new generation of novelists had already felt the approaching crisis. Surrealism, Salina, malraux, etc., although in different ways, all declared a break with the previous generation such as Valerie, Gide and Proust, and their works obviously paid more attention to social reality than literary reality.

It can be seen that tuberculosis is like a special barrier, which not only isolates Sauvageau from the noisy life, but also isolates her from the writing that should belong to her generation, so that Sauvageau’s writing still stays in the middle of the two generations to some extent: she does not approve of the later generation’s over-exaggeration of the crisis and faces the real and individual death-although the exaggerated death in surrealism or absurdism soon became a reality in the war-nor does it. There is no trace of intentional innovation in Sauvageau’s works: for example, the interweaving use of different personal narratives, the freedom of access between dreams and reality; As the theme of love, it has become an entrance to one’s inner world here. The most crucial thing is still the motto engraved on the temple of Apollo more than two thousand years ago: Know yourself.

This may be one of the reasons why Leave Me Alone has not lost its value after nearly a century. In this nearly a century, a lot of things have happened, except for the brutal war, which Sauvageau should not have seen and could not have foreseen. With the invention of streptomycin, tuberculosis is no longer a "white plague" that can easily take away life and thus love. The war broke out and ended. However, there will never be an end once and for all, and human beings are still entangled in disasters that can’t be solved by any order because of the same greed again and again. Humans have overcome one disaster after another, and they have personally concocted one disaster after another. Today, nearly a century later, what humans who thought they were extremely powerful never expected was that another kind of "plague" that invaded the lungs would jump out suddenly and warn humans that you were far from "knowing yourself".

We don’t have to repeat such irrelevant nonsense as "God’s punishment". Sauvageau also strangely gave some symbolic answers in the few words left. In her comments on The Last Supper, she talked about her dislike of this painting, which was mixed with strange sadness:

His (Jesus) smile and eyes reveal disillusionment. Miao Yan, who had just finished his sacrifice and atonement, said, "Take it and eat it. This is my body." "Take it and drink it. This is my blood." He felt lonely because he knew that no one really understood. ….. His eyes drooped and he didn’t look at anyone, but he was dissatisfied with the emptiness after the hope disappeared: his face was tired and bitter, as if he had lost faith. We can’t feel the existence of God here: he is absent. He should come here, give confidence to his sons, give light to mankind, help them understand themselves, or just believe in themselves. However, God stayed in heaven, and there was a faint touch of sky outside the window.

It was Jesus who came to the world. He was alone.

No god can guide us, no matter whose people are in the final analysis, human beings are doomed to be lonely. This is the information that Sauvageau read in The Last Supper, and it is also the conclusion she drew from the "broken-up" love. Isn’t it a universally applicable conclusion that human beings may draw after disasters! However, because of this, we can interpret Let Me Be Alone from another angle: the conclusion that human beings will eventually be lonely does not prevent us from trying our best to find the possibility of not being lonely, even if it is only temporary. This should be what Sauvageau thought when he mentioned the Japanese legend. She said:

A Japanese legend claims that when a person is born, the moon will tie the feet of a man and a woman to be married in the future with a red ribbon. In life, this ribbon is invisible, but these two people will look for each other. If they find it, their happiness will come to the earth. There are also people who can’t find them, so their lives will be full of worries and they will die miserably: for them, happiness can only begin in another world, when they will see who the red ribbon is tied to. I don’t know if I can find a ribbon to tie me in this world; I think this legend, like all legends, gives us poetic comfort.

Poetic comfort. Therefore, even if the era of lying flat will come, let us stand and love, because as long as we are still alive, we need comfort and need to establish a dignified and not lonely existence. The dignity that women seek in love may be closer to the essence of human dignity.

Original author | Yuan Xiaoyi

Excerpt | Zhang Jin

Edit | Zhang Jin

Lead proofreading | Wang Xin

How sensitive is a girl’s body? (No boys allowed)

  Doctor, for a minute, the posture keeps rising.

  -End of this period-

Girls’ brains weigh about 1,250g, which is a little less than boys’, but there are more divine cells and the links between the left and right brains are closer, which makes girls’ brains more efficient than boys’ and more sensitive to emotional feelings. This may be the reason why your girlfriend is easy to get angry. Girls’ eyes are very sensitive to colors, and they can identify colors that many boys can’t see. What’s more, some girls’ eyes have "super powers" knowledge points. Only three kinds of cone cells can make them see about 1 million colors, but a few girls can have four kinds of cone cells. There are 100 million kinds of colors they can see. Girls with this "super power" are called "four-color viewers". Girls have about 50% more olfactory cells than boys, which also makes girls’ sense of smell more sensitive. It is said that girls will smell the "body fragrance" of a person if they like him. If boys look at her with their eyes, it may be possible for them to find a partner.

Encouraging women to be "independent" is also a kind of violence.

Unexpectedly, today we met a guest who was lying flat.

I have always encouraged more women to move forward boldly, hoping to record the precious "step forward" taken by those professional women, so as to inspire more ordinary you and me and pick up the courage to move forward.

As the book "Step Forward" says:

Women are not without leadership, but afraid to let go of their dreams. As long as they boldly sit at the table,Participation can bring about change.

But this time, our guest Zhang Chun said that the word "step forward" made her have to be alert-

Is it wrong for a woman to stand still, lie down and cry, and not take a step forward?

Is there only one way for women to move forward?

This is an opportunity for us to collide.

Who is Zhang Chun?

Maybe many people know her because of an advertisement.

She talked about the "double bondage" of secular views on women:

You should have a career, but not too much;

You want to be beautiful, but loving beauty too much is vanity.

It seems that everything women do is wrong.

Source: Polaiya

She is a writer and a psychological counselor, and this kind of gender observation comes from her work.

Because the ratio of male to female visitors is about 1:9, a vivid sample of women shows her that there is a kind of depression called "Female depression”。

Walking as a woman for 40 years, her own experience made her realize a truth:

Men and women do not live in the same world."

I’m curious, in the wave of encouraging women to go up, why did she loudly say "women can stand still and cry while lying down"? What kind of female world does she see?

Based on this, I had a two-hour conversation with Zhang Chun.

I hope this article today can give you a new perspective and a healing massage.

The following is Zhang Chun’s self-report.

Two gender situations

Step forward?

Now that I hear this, all my alarm bells ring.

Everyone is telling women to move forward, to succeed, to stand up, to become professional women … to stand up, does that mean that it is wrong to sit, squat and lie down?

Any suggestion contains a hidden word, which is "should".

"You should …" We’ve heard so many words.

But I think, instead of telling women "how to make progress", telling women "You have the right to make any choice."The voice is even rarer.

But we need such a voice, instead of finding fault with women again.

Source: TV series "Big and Small Lies"

I am 40 years old this year, and I may have experienced a proposition for the first 38 years of my life:

What the hell am I suffering from?

How did this pain happen? How to describe and describe it? What do they have in common with women and what are their differences?

And why are men so different? How is his coolness cool? What’s his pain like? How is it different from mine?

These doubts come from what I see every day.

For example, if you see such a news-The 70-year-old woman picked up garbage in the middle of the night and was chopped many times. She died on the spot.

What will I notice?

I will notice that this is a woman, a woman who was killed outside in the middle of the night. I can’t help but substitute myself and I will be afraid.

But if the news describes it this way—The man committed a crime at 3 am and was arrested and brought to justice in less than an hour.

The subject changed from a murdered woman to a punished man. I don’t immediately feel "I’m in danger", but I know that criminals will pay the price.

But the news you usually see is almost always the former narrative.

Source: Network

I can’t name the specific news that scared me, but when a woman grew up seeing such news subjects and narratives, she naturally knew:

The world is dangerous, I have to be careful, be careful.

This is women’s daily life, and many women have been looking for an effective strategy to protect themselves in such a threatening atmosphere all their lives.

We are afraid that the courier will see that there is no man at home. Girls who live alone should hang some men’s clothes on the balcony and put a pair of men’s slippers at the door … These self-protection skills are being learned by girls since childhood.

According to my observation, all women have the ability to automatically distinguish "what I do to make others comfortable and what I do to make others uncomfortable".

They will automatically know what they can do to be safer and not put themselves in danger.

Source: TV series "Big and Small Lies"

Maybe you always think that you live in the same world as men, but this is not the case.

The world of women and men has its own narrative. The huge difference in logic determines that what women and men see is an absolutely different world.

The narrative of the female world is: I can’t do anything until I am allowed, and it is repeatedly and explicitly allowed.

The male narrative is: I can do anything until I am stopped, and it is repeatedly stopped until I pay an unbearable price.

A typical example is Wang Sicong’s bitter pursuit of Sun Yining.

Sun Yining has told Wang Sicong many times that he is not interested in him, doesn’t want to see him, and doesn’t want to be his girlfriend, but Wang Sicong seems completely inaudible.

It was not until Sun Yining exposed the chat record and tore her face that Wang Sicong realized that she was really boring to herself.

It’s not just "Wang Sicong". Most men around ordinary women are like this.

I met one on the Internet. I scold him and blacken him every day, but he can still find me again in various ways.

I said there was no possibility with him, but he said:

"I think we are very likely, because you don’t scold others, you only scold me like this. This is a preference, and you can’t have no feelings for me."

I’m really amazed.

Source: TV series "My Genius Girlfriend"

This is indeed the case in men’s world. It is all "I can" until the unbearable price is stopped.

Women are cautious, and they are all "I can’t" until they are explicitly allowed.

The difference between the two kinds of thinking fundamentally leads to two completely different gender situations-

You have your mountain, I have my disaster, and both men and women are trapped in their respective genders.

Twisted women

One day, I saw a poster on the wall of the hospital, which read:

"Pain relief is the basic right of patients."

This sentence triggered an earthquake in my heart, which made me feel so fresh.

I have been suffering from various chronic pain diseases, but I never thought that I could have the right to ask for no pain.

If pain relief is a basic right, can women’s menstrual pain be exempted?

If exempting dysmenorrhea is a basic right, then why do all women tolerate it as usual?

So that when it comes to dysmenorrhea, someone will say, "Drink more hot water and just bear it."

Why are there so many patients with dysmenorrhea, but there is no special treatment department?

Even why does it seem to many people that even childbirth, which is extremely painful to the mother, should be, must, can’t complain and don’t have to be exempted?

I suddenly realized that these are all violence, telling women that your feelings are not important.

There is more common physical violence, which is the humiliation of women’s body, appearance and sexual value.

"You shouldn’t be so fat."

"You should be whiter."

"If you want to wear this underwear, it will look fuller, and if you wear that one, it will look thinner and colder."

……

All these are telling women that your body doesn’t belong to you.

Although I began to consciously use the gender perspective in these three or five years, understanding the differences between the two sexes began when I knew I was a girl, and even then I didn’t necessarily have memories.

I believe other women are the same.

At the moment you were born, the doctor picked you up, patted your ass and said, "Wow, it’s a big fat son" or "it’s a little princess".

At that time, the response from all the people around you was already educating you about gender.

Some fathers saw that it was a girl and fainted on the spot; Some mothers immediately shed tears and said, "What a girl!".

Whether she is an expected child or not, girls can realize it subtly very early.

When they grow up, adults teach their children to know their own bodies. When they see the little boy, they will say:

"Look, this is your little ear, nose and mouth, this is your little hand and arm, and this is your little * * (private part), your calf and foot …"

But when teasing little girls, they will say:

"These are your little eyes and ears, your little arms, hands and navel, and your calves and feet …"

At that moment, the girl could not speak or read, but she knew that one part of her body was taboo.

What is more shameful than keeping a certain part of your body secret?

Source: TV series "My Genius Girlfriend"

This is the beginning of our understanding of our female identity, and it is also the beginning of our being concealed and bound.

Based on this, most of the female visitors I met had a kind of gender-specific depression, and I named it "female depression".

They came to me with the same question-"Should I not feel this way?"

Because the education they have experienced is telling them:

You don’t know how you feel.

You know how you feel, but you shouldn’t feel that way.

You can feel it, but you shouldn’t say it.

You have feelings, but your feelings are not important.

These all point to "you shouldn’t" can’t "and" don’t allow ",and all true feelings are erased.

For example, a woman who has been subjected to domestic violence is asking, "Is this my problem?" Before, they would ask: "Is it a domestic violence that I encountered?"

When feelings are blurred, women don’t know if they are hurt, which is very common in daily life.

Source: TV series "My Genius Girlfriend"

The little girl in kindergarten was pigtailed. She cried and she was sad, but the adults told her that "people like you". How can she tell the harm?

The normalized violence experienced by women is based on this.

From feeling physical violence, women are shaped from the inside out.

No one listens to what they say. They have to say a word 300 times, and they have to shout and smash things at the same time, so that someone will realize that women are speaking.

They are abused by domestic violence, and some people will say, "Did you annoy him?" "Just bear it with the family."

Women’s lives are "distorted" and they don’t know how to define their bodies and feelings, thus entering a kind of "spiritual collapse".

Some of them may seem to have a good life, but they will still fall into depression and be unhappy.

The real "step forward"

I heard a visitor say:

"I can’t see the model bloggers who know life, travel and do accounts. They are anxious at first sight. All their photos and videos are telling me that I am not living right."

Of course, I believe that there must be some women who will be inspired by these role models, so as to "step forward" and do something to make her feel better.

But at the same time, there must be others who feel disciplined, condemned and criticized by these shiny things, but they usually don’t make a sound.

Those voices that are active and make many changes are certainly good, and it has also formed a torrent.

It is also the true feelings and choices of some women that they cannot be pushed to take a step forward.

It’s just that there are too few voices encouraging women to tell their true feelings, and they are more asked.

But there is no end to meeting the requirements of the outside world.

Source: TV series "My Genius Girlfriend"

You can imagine a woman who has to deal with many people for a long time and accept the demands of voices from all directions, and these voices are bound to conflict.

Some people told her to be careful, while others told her to be bold.

This incident made her speak cautiously, and that project made her bold.

I think all girls should have heard a saying:You’d better be a civil servant, a doctor and a teacher. ……

This is the requirement of many people for her to be a "wife" in the future.

But on the other hand, women have been educated and gone to college, and they have seen many successful women live in various ways.

They say that a girl’s life is more than that. Don’t just try to be stable, but imagine more possibilities.

And today’s requirements for women are:

You should be a professional woman who takes a step forward and an all-round housewife; It is necessary to bear all responsibilities, but also to be emotionally stable and quiet.

There is a tear between the left and right everywhere.

Her self is shaking more and more in these tears, shaking to a certain extent, and it is broken.

The next step may be to become depressed.

That’s why I’m so wary of "step forward", of orders packaged as proposals, and of what should be hidden behind suggestions.

I don’t think it is necessary for women to live an independent, beautiful and successful life if they really take a step forward.

But you firmly believe that you are right no matter what you choose, you must have your reasons, and you have the right to go back on your word after you choose.

This "step forward" is a person’s subjectivity and interpretation right, and does not let liberation become a new bundle.

Source: TV series "My Genius Girlfriend"

There is violence, distortion and deception around us. I also have great anger at the world and want to do something that I think is right.

For example, when I saw a man urinating on the side of the road, I stopped him. Even when I did this for the first time, I was ready to fight, but after stopping him, it was really cool.

Of course, sometimes I just don’t want to get high. Today, I feel that I don’t love the world, and it’s not worth doing any construction here, so I choose to ruin it and do nothing.

The point is, I know I made the right choice.

Some time ago, there were several violent incidents against women. Like my visitors, I was inevitably angry and disappointed, as if I had been touched by all the traumatic experiences in the past.

During the most sad "beating incident", during the 20-minute break between each consultation, I would open the video of President Zhang Guimei’s examination submission for a while.

I saw her doing the same thing day after day, sending the girls out of the mountains, but the fate of the girls who took the college entrance examination was different.

Source: People’s Daily

But more often I will remind myself:I’m fine. I don’t have to be perfect.

As women, we are not destroyed by those cruel things, which is something we should be proud of forever.

There will never be a correct and successful answer to women’s way forward.

Remember, taking a step forward is to get back your rights, which is your choice and always right.

Light up at the end of the text[Forward]+[Like], encourage each other.

This article is reproduced from WeChat WeChat official account: Her Magazine with authorization. Source of this article: network, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete.

Fashion trend: the evolution of personality customization and aesthetic concept. Fashion focus: Wang Si …

Fashion Trend: Personalized Customization and the Evolution of Aesthetic Concept

Fashion Focus: Social Reflection Caused by Wang Sicong’s Custom Hairstyle Event

Wang Sicong booked Tony, a famous hairdresser, with a price of 18,800 yuan. Every hair was carefully crafted in 2 minutes, and the working hours were as high as 90 yuan per hour. This seemingly absurd move has aroused deep thinking about the attitude towards new luxury life. The change of aesthetic concept and consumption attitude is highlighted in this incident, which pushes people’s pursuit of fashion and individuality to a new height.

The new trend of fashion: the integration of aesthetics and consumption

In modern society, fashion is no longer a simple external expression, but a life attitude of both internal and external cultivation. Wang Sicong’s hairstyle incident is not only a beauty, but also a redefinition of individual image, which has triggered a profound reflection on aesthetic and consumption concepts. Aesthetics plays an important role in consumption, and people tend to measure the quality of life by aesthetic standards. Hairstyle customization is no longer just the carving of hair, but the presentation of personality and taste, thus demonstrating the pursuit of quality of life.

Personality shaping: a new realm of fashion

Fashion has gone beyond the simple trend and become a symbol of personality and taste. Hairstyle is no longer a simple haircut, but a manifestation of self-style and personality. Wang Sicong’s hairstyle incident made people start to think that the value of life may lie not only in money, but also in the pursuit of quality life. This pursuit of individuality and uniqueness leads to the change of aesthetic concepts and consumption patterns, and people begin to pay more attention to the life value brought by individuality and uniqueness.

Fashion trend of thought: the rise of aesthetic economy

The creativity and diversity contained in hairstyle design is not only the modification of hair, but also the respect for individual aesthetics. The rise of this aesthetic economy makes the fashion industry pay more attention to creativity and individuality. People are beginning to realize that aesthetics is not only a taste, but also an expression of value. Wang Sicong’s hair style incident has become a fashion topic, which has triggered in-depth discussions on aesthetic and consumption concepts and promoted the development of the fashion industry in a more diversified and open direction.

Future Trend: Personalized Customization and Quality Life

In the future, personalized customization will become an important development trend of fashion industry. People’s pursuit of quality of life is no longer limited to the material level, but more reflected in the demand for individuality and creativity. This emphasis on aesthetics will lead to the change of consumption patterns, and the fashion industry will also pay more attention to the provision of personalized and customized services. Therefore, personalized customization will become an important development direction of fashion industry in the future, leading the continuous change of consumption concepts and aesthetic standards.

Wang Sicong’s hairstyle incident is just a microcosm of the fashion industry, but it reflects the change of people’s aesthetic and consumption concepts behind it. Personalized customization is no longer just a luxury consumption, but also the pursuit and presentation of quality life. In the future, with the continuous development of fashion industry, personality and aesthetics will be more integrated, leading the society to a new definition of quality life.

What do you think?

11-year-long research has confirmed that persisting in exercise can prolong life and reduce the incidence of 13 kinds of cancer.

If there is a "universal prescription" that can lower blood pressure, blood fat and blood sugar at the same time, prevent cancer and eliminate insomnia, it is exercise.

According to the World Health Organization,Lack of exercise has become the fourth largest risk factor for death in the world.Long-term lack of exercise will reduce the function of body organs and tissues by 30%.

In 2018, the National Cancer Institute of the United States conducted an 11-year follow-up study of 1.44 million people, and concluded that proper exercise can reduce the incidence of 13 kinds of cancers by more than 10%, and the relative life span will be longer.

How exactly does exercise change the body? How should we choose suitable sports?

The best health care secret for the body is not a panacea, but exercise, which has many benefits for our body.

Strong bones:Exercise can make bones grow and develop better, strengthen bones, and enable bones to bear greater loads. Persisting in exercise can enlarge the bony process attached to muscles, improve bone metabolism and blood circulation, improve the ability of bones to resist various changes, strengthen joint toughness, and prevent bone hyperplasia and muscle degeneration.

Promote blood circulation:Aerobic exercise, in particular, can increase cardiovascular blood output and enhance myocardial contractility, thus improving the blood circulation of the whole body and preventing the occurrence of arteriosclerosis. Exercise can protect blood vessels and reduce the risk of cardiovascular diseases.

Enhance lung function:Insisting on exercise can strengthen the respiratory muscles, expand the range of breathing movements, and increase the breathing difference, thus enhancing the vital capacity and lung function.

Help digestion and absorption:Gastrointestine is an important organ for human digestion and absorption, and exercise can help increase appetite, promote gastrointestinal peristalsis and blood circulation, promote the secretion of digestive glands, enhance the digestion and absorption ability of gastrointestinal nutrition, and strengthen the metabolic ability of the whole body.

Delay aging:When you reach a certain age, your body’s toughness and metabolic ability will begin to decline, and insisting on exercise can keep your joints flexible, delay muscle relaxation and make your body younger.

People at different ages can choose different sports according to the characteristics of their bodies at different ages, which can better reflect the role of sports.

20 years old:You can choose any high-intensity exercise, such as marathon, runaway and other high-intensity aerobic exercises, to reserve resources for good health;

30 years old:Choose high-intensity aerobic exercise or strength exercise such as mountain climbing and jogging, and pay attention to stretching ligaments before and after exercise;

40 years old:You should choose moderate-intensity sports, such as swimming, brisk walking, jogging, cycling, etc., and increase strength exercises;

50 years old:You can choose moderate intensity aerobic exercise, such as swimming, cycling and brisk walking, while maintaining moderate muscle strength exercise. For women of this age, you can do some flexibility exercises such as yoga to keep your body flexible;

60 years old:Exercise should focus on improving the quality of life, improving psychological endurance and preventing falls, and ballroom dancing, swimming and walking are all good choices;

70 years old:At this age, taking part in sports should be based on safety, and you can choose walking, Tai Chi, Qigong and other sports.

80 years old:The elderly should choose low-intensity exercise, slow and rhythmic, and can choose Tai Chi, Baduanjin and gateball.

Proper exercise for the elderly has many advantages, but because the elderly are older, there are many places to pay attention to in exercise, otherwise it is easy to walk into the following sports misunderstandings:

1. Is morning the best exercise time?

Many elderly people like to exercise in the morning, but the high content of carbon dioxide in the air in the morning is not an ideal exercise time. In addition, human blood is sticky in the morning, especially in cold weather, which is easy to cause cardiovascular diseases. Old people can choose to exercise in the afternoon.

2. Exercise immediately after meals.

Many people believe that a walk after a meal is good for digestion. However, exercise immediately after meals will lead to an increase in blood flow of skeletal muscles, which will affect digestive function. Long-term exercise after meals will easily lead to gastroptosis.

?You don’t need to exercise if you often do manual labor.

Often doing housework is limited to the activities of certain organs and organizations, which has certain limitations and even unreasonable activities. Only scientific and reasonable exercise can make all parts of the body, joints and muscles get full and comprehensive activities, and all organs can also get comprehensive exercise.

Exercise can bring people health and happiness, but don’t go into the misunderstanding of exercise, master the correct types and ways of exercise, and make your body more and more "young"!

# Breeze Project ##39 Healthy Super Group #

References:

1. Liu Jianyu. Misunderstanding of exercise health care for the elderly [J]. Friends of Science: Next, 2009 (11): 73-74.

2. Huang Huiming. Decryption of longevity: How to exercise at different ages? [J]. Contemporary Model Workers, 2014: 77.

3. Ouyang Jun. Physical benefits of exercise [J]. Health Guide, 2012,18 (4): 58-59.

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China people’s "exercise and fitness" is getting harder and harder! My favorite project is …

Source: CCTV Finance

0one

Move it! Have a nice summer!

The national movement continues to heat up, and more and more people in China build strong physique through sports. According to the survey of a better life in China, the demand for sports and fitness has been rising continuously from the consumption expectation in the past four years. In 2023, the proportion of people willing to increase their consumption in sports and fitness reached 27.99%, ranking fourth in the list of Chinese consumption expectations, a sharp increase of more than 7 percentage points over the previous year.

Who is the main force of sports and fitness consumption? The survey found that women’s wishes have been higher than men’s for four years.

Pay for sports, don’t underestimate this crowd.

From different age groups, middle-aged people aged 36-59 are more willing to invest time and money in sports and fitness. With a certain consumption power and a crisis to their own health, this group has become the main force in the sports and fitness market. Followed by people over 60 years old, the proportion of people who are willing to increase their consumption in sports and fitness is as high as 30.95%, which is almost the same as that of middle-aged people.

In which cities are people more willing to spend on sports and fitness? Kunming, Xi ‘an, Guangzhou, Yinchuan and Zhengzhou are the top five cities on the list.

Let’s run (ju ǐ n) and (qǐ) and (lái), shall we?

In terms of exercise and fitness, what items do you like? According to the online survey data, 51.90% people choose running, followed by small ball games such as badminton (35.33%) and hiking/hiking/mountaineering (32.84%).

Among them, men’s enthusiasm for running is nearly 13 percentage points higher than that of women (58.61%, 45.95%).

From different age groups, 18-25 years old are the people who love running the most. Central China, Southwest China and South China are the top three "love running circles" among the seven regions. Running is not only a physical exercise, but also a positive attitude towards life.

Besides running, what are the differences between the sports that men and women love?

The top three in the women’s sports list are: running, yoga/pilates and other shaping classes and small balls such as badminton. The sports that men often participate in: running, badminton and other small balls, football/basketball and other big balls. Men are more interested in ball games, while women prefer shaping sports such as yoga.

02

Escape from fitness, these excuses have you been shot?

When there is movement, there is silence. What is the reason that makes some people unable to open their legs and restricts their pace of exercise and fitness?

According to the online survey, four adults said that they didn’t exercise because they didn’t have time (42.51%), followed by the high cost (30.00%), others said that it was difficult to find a common partner (27.14%) and the community fitness equipment was insufficient (25.72%), and only 19.53% people really didn’t like sports.

In fact, there are 10,000 reasons to give up, only one belief is needed to persist, and more time should be made for your own health.

The lack of community fitness equipment is restricting the movement of northerners.

Besides lack of time and high cost, southerners think that it is difficult to find common partners, which is one of the three main factors that restrict their sports. Northerners believe that the lack of community fitness equipment is also one of the three main factors restricting sports fitness. It seems that the construction in this area in northern cities should be strengthened.